literature

The Gift Of Hope

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Literature Text

In this world we call earth there is life and there is death. There is tragedy and there is hope. This is the story of how I came to know both.

Skies have turned dark and days stretch out longer then normal. I find my self at a place where I haven’t been in some time. Death and pain has consumed these brown eyes. I find it sometimes hard to breath and even harder to smile. A magnificent soul, a beautiful human, and dear friend of mine is lost to the tragedies of life. All the tragic emotions of life have seeped in my body in these last few days. My heart grows tired and yet all I can do is weep and mourn for his death. With every ounce I hold left in my body I struggle to make way for hope. It is hard and yet it is a gift to know that hope still exist in such a time as this. For hope is the only chance I will have to live on with a smile.

It was a dark day for him as well. His world was silent and mean. He was fighting demons no one could see nor understand. He tucked himself away from the world. Shut it out completely. Lost with out hope. No more pleas of help, and his white flag was tossed. That day he hides his last hours of life in his basement. With a contraption that included a shotgun; he was ready to meet death. Scared, nervous, and sitting in a chair facing the barrel of the shotgun. He was ready for death. Pulled the roped that that pulled the trigger; the sound of death goes off. Hundreds of little metal pellets hit his body at an intense speed. Blood is splattered everywhere. A calculation goes wrong and he doesn’t meet death right away. Bleeding horribly he watches and feel death consume him whole. After intense pain and suffering his gasp for life is gone. His fist unmade, a blood soak note falls from his hand. The note was his goodbye, and the last words were “I am sorry.”

Days have passed now, and I find myself at a place where my dear friend loved being. He use to tell me he loved it here because he knew no matter what was wrong, the ocean was there always ready to listen and to comfort him. He once told me, it was where he was at peace.

I stand on top of a large rock where land meets ocean. I ask permission from the great waters if my friend can find a place along its great presence. The waves crash and roars out an answer I can only assume be a yes. I raise a box to my chest and stretch my arms to the beautiful ocean. I open the lid of the box, and with the soft grace of the ocean wind; it pulls the ashes of my dear friend softly away. A single tear falls from my eyes, and in that moment I am hypnotized of the life that he had lead. A smile consumes my face, and in that moment I felt completely warm and happy. I release my spirit and hoped it found my friend well. I hope it says goodbye in the way I wish I could have.

I will never fully understand why that day my friend took his life. I will never understand the demons that consumed him. But from this death I have learned this much. I learned life is the gift we give ourselves. Each day is the miracle that is waiting to happen. Instead of existing we must spread our wings and hope we can soar to a place where we all can truly say, “I lived life.” So from that tragedy I was reminded to enjoy the small things in life, and take notice of the details life has to offer. For it is the details in the individuals that’s makes the human we all see in one another. I learned to open my eyes and see the human spirits that exist in us all. And importantly I was reminded to give my hand to any soul that needed it. I belive in some way my friend died because he didnt lived life, he just merly existed. With that came to much pain to bare and so now I am lost with out a dear friend.

As I sit here and reflect on the smiles, the laughter and the great moments my dear friend and I shared I am truly happy. I let the thoughts of his passing this world loiter away. Instead I only celebrate his life, not his death. For which is the way I shall always remember my friend, his smile, his intelligence and the beautiful way he made laughter fill the room. Dark skies have found a place in my life. But where there are dark skies there is a sunshine that is following closely. Where there is death there is life. Where I have lost a friend, I have gained an angel. This sorrow shall pass and I will be solace once more. I leave my heart with hope for a better tomorrow and a drive to make it happen…

~Please live~
The details of death and life..the story of how I came to know both..

The beautifuly done picture is work of my friend Raun...he is a genius with his work and you should all check it out..
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amebaone's avatar
I lost a friend some time ago. . . to a different kind of tragedy. . . but I also like to remember the smiles, the goodness, the LOVE that just poured OUT of him all the time. A teardrop (or a few) sort of cruized down my cheek slowly as I read this, unraveling memories, feelings, dreams. ... Thank you for sharing. It is a TREMENDOUS piece.. . one that reminded me of something so important. . . of how beautiful life is. . . and of how big some hearts are. Thank you.